If I've said it before, I'm sure it was a long time ago and I'm due to say it again.... this parenting business is really hard. Like, REALLY hard!! I watch people all around me who appear to be breezing through it and I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I'm secretly hoping though, that those parents also feel like they are losing their mind most days.
We've just now gotten to the point where C & L can play together for more than two minutes without immediate danger of somebody getting seriously hurt. That helps. But it doesn't change the fact that my stomach turns every time I need to incite movement toward a desired outcome. It could be time to get dressed, or time to brush teeth; to pick out shoes, to head home from daycare or the park, to get in car seats, to clean up, to go to bed, etc. Every one of these tasks feels like a major expedition. How will I frame it, how will I motivate them, how will I keep my cool when they ignore my efforts or show obvious signs of defiance? Just when I find a strategy that seems to work, their needs change or they catch on to my trickery. And if I'm working on a sleep deficiency, and am not on my game, you can be sure that all of these tasks will somehow end with a two inch deep layer of soap bubbles on the bathroom floor.
My goal is mostly to survive to the end of the day with some remaining sanity, to wake up the next morning with enough energy to keep it together for another day, and to have two girls who feel loved for being exactly who they are (soap bubbles, fights, defiance and all). It sounds overly dramatic when I put it in writing, but it may actually be an understatement. Be thankful that I didn't write this IN ALL CAPS!!
People put their best selves out in public. I think we all struggle. I sure do. And some kids are just harder than others. Lately I've thought, you know, if I could take a month or two and just freeze the girls in time and be by myself to get stuff done and have time to myself, see friends, exercise, relax... I would do it in a heartbeat. I love them more than anything in the world, but it is SO hard and we need more breaks than we get. Since I don't have access to a time-freezing machine, I just remind myself that "the days are long and the years are short" and before I know it they will be grown up and gone.
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