Lela's Saturday Morning Scrub Down

Saturday morning, John woke with a mission to restore order to our slightly disheveled space. Did I happen to mention that he's the best husband and baby daddy ever? Anyway, we were definitely in need of the typical weekend vacuum and clutter control but he also collected five days worth of crusty burp cloths and spitty sleepers and swaddle blankets in need of a hose down.
                                                       
We had two crusty babies, too, one of which got tossed in with the laundry.










We used the delicate setting and skipped the spin cycle and this is what came out. Cute, huh? She smelled good, too.

Top 10 List: Signs of Success

10. We are sleep deprived, but not depraved.

9. We haven't called the NICU nurses to ask if we could bring the girls back... until their 18th birthday.

8. John returned to work part-time and Angel has survived a handful of feeding cycles in his absence.

7. We made it to our first pediatrician appointment; our first outing. We were even on time.

6. We shared pie and wine and laughs with visiting friends one evening. A major social accomplishment, even if we did talk babies the whole time.

5. Our reliance on NICU monitoring and procedures has waned; we haven't been tempted to place a feeding tube yet.

4. Our new motto: the family that burps together stays together.

3. Human waste has remained confined to appropriate waste collection areas (ie. not on the ceiling).

2. Tandem feeding attempts resulted in the actual transfer of some amount of food.

1. Kai hasn't tried to eat the small children.

Home At Last

Welcome Home, Cate and Lela!!

Since their birth day, which was exciting and shocking in many ways, today was Cate and Lela's biggest day yet. It started out much the same as every other day until they got their eviction notice from the doc. Things started to get weird when Mom and Dad began emptying the contents of hospital drawers into tote bags and then the photographer showed up and had them (Cate and Lela, not Mom and Dad) strip naked. Weird how all NICU rules are broken every time there's a photographer around. Monitors come off, clothes come off, and critters get to lie on the NICU floor together.       

                                                                                                                           

Then there were ridiculously large fleecy suits, big recliners with NASCAR worthy safety belts, cold breezes, a car ride, and an introduction to the furry three-legged family member who never visited in the hospital.

Finally, Cate and Lela moved into their new home... the big girl crib.

Based on our first few hours at home, our suspicions that the NICU staff mildly sedated the girls during their stay seems to be a real possibility. The flawless three hour feeding schedule that they were on is already in a shambles and Lela is not loving the "back to sleep" rules after sleeping on her belly for three weeks.

We're thrilled to be home. But it's going to be a long night...

"Are We There Yet?"

Not only did we not have to pull out the allowance threats, we didn't even get a chance to have our family meeting.

Lela has finished every bottle since yesterdays post! And to be sure that her efforts didn't go unnoticed, she yanked her feeding tube out this morning while the nurse was putting on her hat. No fuss, just a perfectly timed pull to send a very strong message.

So it's all bottles all the time for these two until they come home. It's easier to gauge how much they're getting that way and hopefully easier to ensure that they'll gain weight.

Visiting our daughters in the NICU is getting old. It's time to bring these small mammals home.

One Step Closer

Yesterday, Cate's gavage (feeding) tube was removed to see how she does feeding on her own. The verdict is still out, but we're hoping the next weigh in reveals that she's still packing on the pounds (or at least ounces). I'm thinking my newly adopted donut-only diet will surely help. In the meantime, it's just nice to see her sweet baby face without attachments.

Lela seems to think the nurses are playing some sort of practical joke with the bottle business; she'll only eat about half of her total feeding from a bottle at this point. We'll address her concerns in our family meeting this afternoon. If that doesn't work, we may have to bust out our "tough love" parenting strategies and let her know that her NICU bill will have to start coming out of her weekly allowance.

The Race is On

A bit slow out of the gates, Catherine and Lela are now neck and neck in the race to NICU graduation. Suddenly things are happening, and happening fast.





2/13 - Lela is off her IV. Notice those perfect tube-free hands.




2/14 - Both girls are maintaining their temperatures

with their isolettes set on the minimum 27 degrees Celsius.

2/15 - Cate and Lela are now maintaining their body temperatures in open cribs!

The first of two graduation criteria - check.

Nevermind that they appear to be bundled for their first great Everest expedition.

The one remaining criteria they both have to meet is to eat by breast or bottle only, while continuing to gain weight. Here Daddy is telling Cate that our house is just like Disneyland with the hopes that she'll finish this bottle. It didn't work.

We are open to suggestions; what's better than Disneyland?

Can't We All Just Get Along

All is well here. Catherine and Lela are making huge progress every day and John is a dream.

There's just one problem. My breast pump and I can't seem to get along. I wish this was a minor hiccup, but as a NICU mom who would like to breastfeed I need the pump to be my friend. 

I'm not sure if I've done something to upset it or if it treats everyone with this same disregard. I'm desperate and willing to do just about anything, but how does one find out what a breast pump would like. I use only loving words when I speak to it, take good care of it's parts, and have provided a safe and warm place for it to live. Maybe it would prefer more modern decor, or perhaps a shrine in it's honor. Maybe it's like a giga pet and needs to be fed, watered, and loved at certain intervals. Or could it be that this leased pump has an attachment disorder caused by frequent shifts in caregivers? 

I've searched the owner's manual looking for clues but it seems geared to mechanical ramblings only. I've spent countless hours doing google searches. Still no luck. I've found no hints as to how to win the heart of my pump. 

My pump and I have even been seeing a team of specialists. The professionals are equally troubled by our obviously strained relationship and fear we may be incompatible, but their parting advice is that we spend more time together. Really? MORE time? I must have left out some important details to have gotten such reckless counsel.

As in any difficult situation, I can only take it day by day. The pump does not need me the way that I need it, but I will continue to do my best to seek a peaceful coexistence. 

Wish me luck.... and if you don't hear from me in the next week, send me a sledge hammer.

Napping in the Lactation Room

Remember this guy?




Is it real, or is it.... Medela?

 

Hollywood, Here We Come!

HOLLYWOOD, here we come!

We know that most parents have fantasies about their kids being famous and successful, but few parents are as committed as we are. Knowing that the movie Avatar II is in the making, we are training our girls, method-style, to be perfect actors in the next film. Their acting workshops include dressing in full costumes and makeup like the aliens on the planet of Pandora. We still haven't taught them to ride any flying dragons, so a hopping, three-legged dog may have to substitute.



We Win...



Best Daddy!



Two perfect girls + best baby daddy ever = one blissful mama!

I'm feeling like the luckiest girl in the world right now. Cate and Lela are pure joy and having John as my partner in this journey is a greater gift than I could have ever imagined.

Part-time parenting is an abstract concept that I'm still not sure how to process. John and I return home each day to our Kai-dog; same as before. What's different is the time we spend with the girls at the hospital, the reality that nothing else really matters, and the fullness in our hearts as we look over them and squeeze them tight.

John shines in his daddy role. All the wonderful traits that we love him for are serving him very well. To my surprise though, his less lovely (translation: confusing to me) habits have also turned out to be major assets in this journey. He asks questions, lots of questions, when I tend to observe and process. He makes things happen while I am waiting to determine my next step. He's a staunch advocate for us all!

When we were dating and leading up to our wedding, John and I would often look to each other and exclaim, "We win!" in reference to our great fortune in finding each other, having such a wonderful collection of family and friends, jobs we love, etc. To say this latest chapter is icing on the cake just doesn't do it justice. In fact, I'm at a loss for how to put this feeling into words... so I revert back to the old standby that says so much...

We win!



Eight Days Later

The girls' care board provides new information when we enter the NICU each morning. It shows us their cares/feeding schedule, how much they're being fed (this increases almost daily), their most recent weight, and the name of their shift nurse. "Cares" include taking their temperature, changing diapers (John is an expert), feeding, and any additional assessments the doctors have ordered.

John and I head to the hospital for the 8:30 and 11:30 am cares. We take an afternoon break and then return for the 5:30 and 8:30 cares in the evening. With the two of them, each care/feeding cycle takes about an hour and a half. This schedule has us at the hospital 9 hours each day.

We've heard the lectures about taking care of ourselves, getting enough sleep, etc. As if we'd be well rested if we were all home together. I figure two newborns equal exhaustion regardless. I actually think we're getting a break from the real exhaustion that will come later.

Dad is having a good time goofing off 

with Lela. Does he know that there will be years of payback for every bunny ear?

And finally, Catherine and Lela had a bit more together time today. The nurse had to remind Catherine not to eat her sister who slept soundly throughout the encounter.

Catherine and Lela's Grand Entrance

Catherine Rae




Lela Grace




Did I just give birth to an Eskimo and a miniature Mother Theresa?



March of Dimes

Sure, I know of the March of Dimes, but I seriously never had any idea what they did. Now I know.

What they do is they send their Family Support Specialist to work with NICU families at no cost. At St. Als in Boise, that person is Kristi. As I returned to our wee ones' bedsides today, I found Kristi talking with John about her role as the "Rest Police" to make sure we are taking care of ourselves. She gave suggestions as she emphasized how important it is that we don't get sick (at which point, we wouldn't be allowed to visit), how we can use the nurses as resources for feeding, developing a home schedule when we're able to take Catherine (and finally Lela) home, etc. She told us about the professional photographer that would be coming in tomorrow afternoon offering a free photo shoot for our family, she brought us two books to read to the girls and scent squares for us to wear for the next two days to leave in the girls cribs. She also talked with our nurse about using our blankets to swaddle the girls so that we can bring their scent home to begin to prepare Kai-dog for their arrival. In short, she is amazing and left us feeling all warm and fuzzy. We're glad she's on our team! And we're humbled knowing we won't be seeing fees related to her services on our "hired help" bill.

Now we know about the March of Dimes... they will certainly recieve our support in the future.

Upsides and Downs of the NICU

During our pregnancy, we had many people tell us to stay away from all the baby books that make you over think everything. Maybe we should have taken that advice more seriously. All of the books about having multiples continuously emphasized the importance of having help either in the form of family members or hired professionals. The message was very clear... you won't be able to do this alone. Well we've gone and done it, we opted for the hired professionals; a team of about 12 of them as a matter of fact (plus nurses). Maybe we over did it a bit.

The benefit of having this "hired help" is that we know our girls are well taken care of (and we don't have to change diapers in the middle of the night). The downside is that even a small set back such as an upset tummy becomes grounds for stopped feedings, x-rays, and enemas. Their placement in the NICU necessitates very thorough investigations and interventions but it is very difficult to see them have to go through all these unpleasantries. It's heartbreaking, really.

In part, it's those unpleasantries that keep us going though. It's all we can do to be there to change diapers, feed them, and love on them in the spaces in between.

Loving on them is the greatest thing I've ever known.

Post-Pregnancy "Pooch"

So, you thought I was joking when I said I was still carrying most of my pregnancy belly...

A woman who just had two babies walks into the NICU and a nurse (who sees new moms every day) says... "Oh, you're going to have a baby."
The new mom looks tired, dazed, and confused.
The nurse realizes her mistake, "Or maybe you just had a baby," and then adds "You have a good pooch there."
That nurse wasn't talking about our Kai-dog.

A Lot of Baby in My Belly....

It took a couple days for us to convince a nurse to allow Cate and Lela to spend a few minutes together as it required disconnecting one of them from their monitors for a few minutes. While they didn't seem to notice, we really enjoyed it.

Most notable about the experience was the realization that I'd been carrying all of that baby in my belly just days earlier. They're heavy!!

Also shocking when they are together is the size difference between them. Cate is a lunker compared to her more petite sister. In the world of neonatal medicine, one might hear the terms "intrauterine growth restriction" or "discordance" to refer to Lela's slowed growth and the size difference between them. In the delivery room the evidence was clear in the dramatic difference in their umbilical cords (John describes them as a garden hose vs. the old school spiral phone cord) and placenta sizes. Poor Lela just wasn't getting her fair share.

Rest assured though, all prenatal ultrasounds showed that she had adequate blood profusion where it mattered and the doctors didn't see any signs of fetal distress. Now that we've met her we can see why she was just fine.... she may be little but she's scrappy, an obvious fighter.

It may take a bit longer for her to pass the tests of the NICU, but we're confident that she'll continue to thrive and catch up with her sister throughout their first year together.

And again.... we are thankful to our doctors who kept our babies safe, healthy, and stress-free!

Recap of the Last Two Weeks

... by way of John's Facebook updates.

January 26, 2011 - "Angel has two weeks to go, plus or minus two weeks."

January 27, 2011 - "is thinking this may be the last quiet weekend for some time..." (I assured him he was wrong.)

January 31, 2011 - "The twins' heartbeats sound like the coconuts from Monty Python and the Holy Grail." (Written during monitoring at the hospital. They really did!)

January 21, 2011 - "We need radio collars to keep track of our kids. And they haven't even been born yet." (Monitoring required the constant attention of a helicopter nurse (or two.))

February 1, 2011 - "Question: If the kiddos come out tomorrow and see their shadows, will they go back in for another couple weeks?"

February 2, 2011 - "(John) and Angel are proud parents. Baby A weighs 6 lbs 10.5 oz (after pooping!) and Baby B weighs 4 lbs. 1 oz. Both keepers. Both girls! Angel is recovering from c-section and is doing well."

February 3, 2011 - "Baby B looks like a canyon tree frog - with a shock of black hair on her head."

February 5, 2011 - "I decided to skip Dr. Seuss for now and to fast forward straight to "Treasure Island" for this afternoon's reading."

February 5, 2011 - "Although we had picked these names over a month ago, it took three days of discussions, negotiations and nurse-on-the-street spelling surveys to confirm they matched the kiddos. Baby A is officially Catherine Rae Robison and Baby B is Lela Grace Robison. (Lela is pronounced "Lee-la")."

February 5, 2011 - "Is getting ready for BANFF (Babies Are Needing Food and Family). It's another extreme sport, but without the pro deals." (We were about to miss the Banff Film Festival... an annual tradition.)

February 6, 2011 - "Angel and I checked the Fish and Game regs and you can't take home any babies less than 20" long. So we put them back and will keep returning until we can take them home. Until then, it's a bit like catch and release parenting."

This brings us to today... our first day of waking at home, visting the girls in the morning, taking a brief afternoon siesta and returning for the evening. Personally, I think this is also proof that a Facebook intervention is in order, but we'll revisit that later.

Hatched!! For Real This Time

Catherine Rae (6lbs, 10oz) and Lela Grace (4lbs, 1oz) hatched for real on the afternoon of 2/2/10 at 35 weeks/3 days much to our shock even though the doctors had been priming us for the possibility of their early arrival.

I had a plan for dealing with their early arrival, but the doctors all agreed that even though I'd successfully carried them in my self-made incubator for quite some time, it probably wasn't a good idea to let me take them home and sit on them in the nursery until they were fully baked. John assured them that he would keep me on the nest and feed us well, but they were a bit worried about the squish factor since I'm still carrying much of my pregnancy belly. Their smarty-pants solution was to send them to the bright, sterile, plastic incubators of the NICU for further warming and feeding. Seems a bit unnatural to me, but I guess they know best.

After spending a few days visiting our girls for feedings every three hours and meeting other families who are doing the same, one thing is certain... we are incredibly fortunate to have made it to 35 weeks and to have two beautiful girls who are healthy and doing very well. The only two criteria they each have to meet before being released to our inexperienced care is to eat everything they need by mouth and to maintain their body temperature. Every day they get closer to reaching these goals.

I'll be sitting on them in the nursery at home in no time....